


You've Seen Me Before (You'll See Me Again)

by Slinky_Writes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Dean Winchester, Canon Non-Binary Character, Comfortably Bisexual Dean Winchester, F/M, Gen, He/Him and They/Them Pronouns for Sam Winchester, M/M, Multi, Non-Binary Jack Kline, Poly Sam Winchester, Polyamory, They/Them Pronouns for Jack Kline, Trans Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:07:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28115904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slinky_Writes/pseuds/Slinky_Writes
Summary: EXCERPT FROM THE MOST RECENT CHAPTER:"Dean couldn’t even breathe as Jack disappeared. His kid was gone now. His own kid. And it was like that for quite some time. Sure, he was happy for Sam; thrilled that his little brother could be content and at peace with Eileen. But what did Dean get?"-My SPN fix-it! The last two episodes made me sick. Pls it was so bad. Anyhoo. Title is a lyric from "I'm Gonna Win" by Rob Cantor.-ATTENTION: This has no schedule for posting, as I have school at the moment. I try updating whenever I can! Please enjoy! :)
Relationships: Adam Milligan & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Castiel & Gabriel & Lucifer & Michael (Supernatural), Castiel & Jack Kline & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Gabriel/Eileen Leahy, Gabriel/Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Lucifer & Sam Winchester, Michael/Adam Milligan
Comments: 3
Kudos: 19





	You've Seen Me Before (You'll See Me Again)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: "Your New Boyfriend" by Wilbur Soot.

Dean couldn’t even breathe as Jack disappeared. His kid was gone now. _His own kid._

And it was like that for quite some time. Sure, he was happy for Sam; thrilled that his little brother could be content and at peace with Eileen. But what did Dean get?  _ Nothing. _ When he was a kid, he had expected a short life, yes, but he would have a wife. If he wasn’t married, just a girlfriend. But now? He had no love. He lived in the bunker. He wouldn’t even go hunt with Sam and Eileen. He made himself as isolated as he could.

If Dean Winchester was going to be completely honest, this… this was much worse than his previous wishes of death. He no longer wanted to die.

But he was as good as dead, that was for sure. If he could change anything about what had happened, he would’ve made it himself. Not Castiel.

Never Castiel.

But Castiel was in the Empty. Trapped in the void for all of eternity, forced to live through his deepest regrets. It made Dean sick to his stomach; what Cas had to relive.

Dean would be the key to Cas’ door of sorrow, letting it all out. The Empty was nothing but a doormat. A big, powerful doormat that stood between the elder Winchester and the love of his life.

Castiel. The angel who fell in every way imaginable for  _ him. _ The one who… who loved him back. And he was too blind to see it. But he wasn’t blind anymore, and he would do whatever he could to get Cas back. Even if the angel had to become human.

After all, the Empty might have had the seraph in its grip, sure, but it was no match for an angel without its grace. Humans weren’t supposed to be in the Shadow’s domain.

The Empty should make the most of Castiel while it still had him. Because he would get out of there as quick as he could. Once Dean saved him.

“Your new boyfriend’s an asshole,” Dean grumbled, causing Sam to look up at him through his lashes.

“ _ What? _ Who are you even talking to?” they asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Oh! Uh, nothing. Just… writing a song. That’s all,” Dean replied quickly, though he tried his best to be as calm as possible.

Sam, clearly, wasn’t buying that. Not one bit. He frowned. “You don’t write music, Dean. You do covers.”

The older brother groaned. “I’m… I’m writing one, okay?” The younger Winchester nodded. “It’s… it’s a love song. About my first girlfriend.”

“Y-” Sam paused to laugh. They snorted before continuing. “Your first girlfriend? Dee, I didn’t know you could even remember your first girlfriend!”

“Shut it, Sammy,” he hissed. “I never really talked about her. Lost her to some guy named Jared. I met him a few weeks after. They hit it off right away, you know. She’d always talk about his jawline, muscles, all of it. I’ve seen it, though.”

Okay, this part would be weird to add. But Sam noticed the pause in Dean’s story. Sly bitch. “I thought about… I thought about how- no, what he’d look like… naked…” The freckled hunter blushed. 

Sam opened his mouth to say something, but Dean interjected immediately. “I’m not gay, Sammy!”

“Uh-huh…” He stood up, easily towering over their big brother. “Well, I’ll leave you to… write your… song…”

Finally. Dean sat back and took a deep breath. He could do nothing but hope that Cas was at peace, no matter how much it hurt. Cas was happy, right? Cas was peaceful.

How on Earth could he save Cas, though? Dean had already done everything he could. At least that he knew of, that was for sure. With a teary sigh, Dean placed his forearms on the table and clasped his hands together in the most obvious version of prayer ever demonstrated.

_ ‘Hey, Cas. At this point, I’m one prayer away from insane, yeah? I know you… can’t really hear this… but I had to try again. I just want you to know that… that I miss you, dammit. I just want to see you again. You and your dumb trench coat and your stupid smile and that tie that you don’t even wear right. I want to wake up and see you by my side-’ _

Shit.

Dean swallowed roughly. He’d finish the prayer now.  _ ‘Anyway, I just want you to know how much I miss you. I want you back, bud. Please…’ _ Oh, how he longed to add ‘and I love you’ to that. But it would be pointless. He’d have to suffer. But, in all honesty, he didn’t deserve it. All he wanted was what he deserved. He earned that much, didn’t he? He deserved Castiel. He deserved the seraph’s love, care, and dedication. He knew that much. He would never,  _ never _ take what Cas told him in vain. After all, Cas was right. Well, almost.

_ “What I want, I know I can’t have.” _

Cas  _ could _ , though. He could have Dean as his. The angel could have the human as his boyfriend. They would be perfect together. 

The hunter didn’t even bother talking anymore. He wouldn’t make a scene again. He sure as hell wasn’t going to make one like he did last week when Cas’ name was brought into conversation over dinner.

The kitchen was wrecked following his explosion of pure rage. It was sad, in all honesty. He let himself go off the rails. And it was all because of that one celestial being.

The Empty would inhabit his mind at all times, awake or not. How it took Castiel away from him in his happiest moment, vulnerable yet joyous. 

He thought about Cas quite a lot, of course. Maybe, if he wasn’t so damn  _ beautiful _ , he would be able to live a life like Sam. But Cas  _ was _ beautiful, and Dean loved him. He loved him more than he thought he did, that was for sure.

Castiel was beauty, and his grace shone through his dazzling blue eyes in such a way that they would sparkle from all angles; it didn’t matter what the weather was or what time it was. 

Dean became thankful that he never deleted Cas’ old voicemails. Those voicemails became his home; his favorite place to be.

And he wanted Cas to notice him again.

With no distance this time. No ancient cosmic beings getting in the way. Just him and Cas.

He wanted Cas’ care again. He wanted to feel Cas’ gentle touch as he healed him, his gentle smile and words of reassurance.

He wanted to cuddle with him, too. Just being in the same room as him again would be more than enough.

Just being able to know that his seraph was alive would mean everything to him.

Just being able to hear those words.

Just to hear that old, “Hello, Dean.”

**Author's Note:**

> Do you have any requests? Let me know on my Tumblr ( @slinky-does-stuff ) or on my Insta ( @slinky.cosplays) and I'll write it!


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